Everything Has an End
by chuckchuckchuck
Summary: Chakotay and Kathryn Janeway are older and have been together for the past 40 years. Every relationship has difficult times. Please read and review...please be kind


Kathryn could feel Chakotay's hand in her own. His touch felt much the same to her now as it had when they first began dating over 40 years earlier. His warm, strong and unwavering presence had always brought her peace and contentment; today was no exception. Kathryn had known for quite some time that their time together was coming to an end. They were both getting along in years and various health problems continued to mount upon them both. But now that this day, the last day they would share their lives together, had come, it felt as if they had only just begun. It felt to Kathryn like she had, just yesterday, given into her feelings and began to date Chakotay, and yet, it had been 40 years. Time had definitely flown by too quickly. They shared their lives and their mutual love for life, always seeking an opportunity to make a worthwhile memory.

A few years ago when Chakotay was diagnosed with Remington's disease, an insidious and incurable form of dementia, the two of them discussed openly and honestly their desires regarding the end of life. They had both been in perfect agreement that they wanted to leave this life with dignity, no heroic measures to be taken. They both wanted to be allowed to pass on calmly while surrounded by those they loved, including friends and family; both biological and those who became family aboard Voyager. The Doctor had given Chakotay 6 years to live, and they had made the most of the time they had left. They traveled the Alpha Quadrant, vacationing in exotic locales, visited friends and family; efforts made to tie up loose ends wherever and whenever possible.

Kathryn was not prepared for the latest turn of events. The Doctor had originally told them they would have 6 years together, but it had only been 4 years since he had been diagnosed. Kathryn didn't want her precious time with Chakotay to end this soon, not like this, not with 2 more promised years they were supposed to have left together. These elusive "Two More Years" were supposed to reinforce their unbreakable bond, the "Two More Years" allowed to them so they could be happy. They both knew the one left behind would soon follow, unable to find a reason to keep up the fight; unable to find a real reason to live.

As Kathryn continued to think about their life together, she wanted to cry. She wanted to scream and fight. She wanted to force someone to do something, anything to keep them together, just one more day. Her emotions threatened to overtake her and, Kathryn knew in her heart she needed to let go, to let go of her internal battle against the unknown; against the inevitable.

Inhale…

Exhale…

_Breathe, Kathryn_. She thought to herself.

Inhale…

Exhale…

_Come on Kathryn, you knew this day would come eventually_. Again, she chastised herself because of her internal weakness.

Kathryn realized her eyes were closed. She opened them and wanted to look into Chakotay's eyes. She wanted his reassurance and his blessing. As Kathryn's eyes flickered open, she got her wish. Chakotay was there, looking deeply into her eyes, searching for her inner thoughts as much as she searched for his. Within seconds, Kathryn had everything she needed. Chakotay had silently conveyed everything she desperately sought, everything she longed for him to tell her.

Inhale…

Exhale…

Kathryn closed her eyes once more, this time forever. As her final breath left her body, her hand became limp in Chakotay's as his heart broke. He sat there at her bedside holding her silently for what seemed like an eternity, and yet, could never be long enough. The Doctor placed a reassuring hand on Chakotay's shoulder and said:

"She's gone Chakotay, her suffering has ended. Her life ended just as you both had wanted it to, with dignity."

"Thank you Doctor. Your help over the past 2 weeks, when we found out she had become ill, was of great comfort to us both." Replied Chakotay, clearly broken emotionally.

"What are your plans now? Do you need a place to stay? You are more then welcome at my home…for as long as you need." Offered, the Doctor.

"Thank you Doctor. I plan to spend the rest of the time I have left doing what Kathryn wanted us to do together. I'm going to spend it with our children and grandchildren. Of course I will be seeing a lot of our friends…you included." Said, Chakotay, with as much of a smile as he could muster. "It's just not going to be the same without her by my side, challenging me mentally. Kathryn really kept me on my toes the past 40 years. I never got away with anything." Chakotay continued with a little lighthearted reminiscing. He then became very serious, looked down at the floor, and then back up to the Doctor.

"What is it, Chakotay?" asked the Doctor, clearly concerned for his friend.

"I know what I need to do, but what I don't know is how to start. I don't know how to go on, to go on and do what needs to be done. I don't know how to…to…" Chakotay paused unable to continue.

"To what, Chakotay?" the Doctor stepped closer and put a hand on Chakotay's shoulder.

"To live." Chakotay replied simply.

With that the two old friends embraced and Chakotay turned around and walked out of the hospital room to where his remaining family and friends solemnly waited his return.


End file.
